Hooray! NBA Offseason!

It is a ritual in the Sporting World According to Ian to celebrate the fateful day each year (during the first round of the playoffs) when the Denver Nuggets are eliminated from contention for the NBA title. It isn’t that I don’t like basketball, I love basketball, or that I don’t like the Nuggies, I’ve been a fan since they wore the silly 80’s skyline jersey. No, I celebrate the Nuggets’ removal from playoff contention because it means I don’t have to watch another lackadaisical effort by supposed superstars for the whole summer. No more pathetic (and OBVIOUSLY biased) officiating to make me upchuck my sub sandwich. No more showboating or bad coaching. Once the Nuggets are out, I get to ignore the disgusting celebration of all of these things for a few glorious months. No more wishing the NBA were more like college basketball… more like real basketball.

So to wrap up this, another failed season in Denver basketball history, I would like to announce a full-proof plan for making the Nuggets into title contenders for next year and years to come. Ready? GO!

Trade Carmello Anthony to the Houston Rockets for Shane Battier and a slew of first round draft picks over the next two years.

Trade Marcus Camby to anybody willing to take on his enormous salary and limited skill set. Trade him for lots of draft picks.

DO NOT trade the following players:

JR Smith, Allen Iverson, Nene Hilario, Linas Klieza, Eduardo Najera, Rocky (mascot),  and Kenyon Martin.

Anybody else can go. Even George Karl. He’s not a bad coach… but he’s not a good coach either. It’s a wash.

Use two tons of draft picks to take chances on high-potential, high-risk guards and forwards and one sure thing at center.

Start them all at various points next season.

Watch the magic happen.