Divisional Playoffs and the Sad Truth About LT
Somebody once asked me, “Ian, what’s your favorite offseason activity, ya know, once the Broncos have eliminated themselves from playoff contention?”
I tell you, there is nothing more inspiring after a long, bitter Broncos season than talking smack about the San Diego Chargers. It become difficult when they continue to win games, out-chumping the defending World Champion Chumps, the Indianapolis Colts. (Why Peyton Manning continued to call for the deep ball all game when it was such a consistently resounding failure I will never understand.) But then I remember; the two players whom I most despise, the greatest chumps in all of professional football, were on the sideline alternately sulking and screaming at line judges during the crucial fourth quarter of the game.
I am of course referring to King Chump Philip Rivers, whose backup Billy Volek looked more collected during the deciding fourth quarter drive than Sidewinder Phil has ever looked in the pocket, and Queen Chump Ladanian Tomlinson, who gained 28 yards on seven carries before becoming the sorriest looking bench warmer I’ve ever seen. The “perennial pro-bowler” who perennially gets more votes than harder working, more deserving backs (cough, cough… Fred Taylor) hasn’t gotten much done in big games, much less crucial moments in big games, all season/post-season long. Meanwhile, his backup Michael Turner gained 71 yards on 17 carries, taking better advantage of the very impressive (and surprisingly chump-free) Chargers offensive line than Ladanian has all year long. Let’s hope the national media doesn’t let these two playoff victories for the Chargers go to their heads, because the first time I hear somebody call Norv Turner a genius I’m going to throw a fit. Beating two teams (Titans and Colts) who did more to beat themselves, from play calling to poor execution, does not make a coach a genius. It just makes him very, very lucky. Let’s see how Norv and his band of rampaging chumps do against a team that is well-coached and executes with precision and grace before making any overly complimentary judgements.
In other news the Dallas Cowboys proved that any NFC team can beat any other NFC team so long as there is a general understanding that said NFC team will lose miserably on Super Bowl Sunday. And Brett Favre proved that not only can a good coach teach an old dog new tricks, but also that truly spectacular old dogs can pull new tricks out of thin air and execute them to perfection in crunch time during the NFL playoffs. (That play where he broke free from the would-be sack, tripped over a lineman’s leg, stumbled out into the flat, and underhanded the ball softly into the chest of a receiver for a first down just as he was being finally taken to the ground brought a tear to my eye. I mean, seriously, I love that man. He’s the consummate competitor. John Elway’s cosmic little brother. Really fantastic football player. Just can’t say enough about a player like that except that we’re lucky to be able to watch him play for as long as he continues to grace the field with his presence.) And so ends the best week of football in the whole of the season; the Divisional Playoff Round.
